Tears of the Sky Spirits
by LadyChakotay
Summary: The journey home proves that even the victor pays a toll. Written for the Voyager Central Fatal Finale Contest.


The cider was sparkling, like her eyes

Summary:The journey home proves that even the victor suffers losses.Outline by my dear friend, Survak.

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer:The premise and characters belong to them.The story belongs to me.If they want this, they can have it.Though, I know they would never want it.Seven doesn't feature in it at all, and no one pines for her or longs to kiss her.Not exactly Brannon Braga material.Star Trek: Voyager and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount Pictures.No infringement intended.

Authors Note:This is the only story I have ever written where a main character dies.I did it purely for a fanfic contest at Voyager Central.Though, I must admit, considering the way Robert Beltran has been mouthing off lately – writing this was somewhat of a pleasure.

This story won Second Place in the Voyager Central Fatal Finale Contest.

~ Tears of the Sky Spirits ~

** **

** **

The cider was sparkling, like her eyes.

The lighting was soft, like her skin.

And the music was tranquil and serene, like her mood at that moment.

As Chakotay leaned back in his seat and watched her, it seemed to him that Kathryn had finally accepted life here in the Delta Quadrant.She hadn't given up on getting back to Earth, of course.Chakotay doubted she ever would.But it was as though she had finally learned to think of Voyager as home for the time being, instead of some wayward stop along her transition in life.He had told her countless times about the old adage that his father was so fond of spouting."Home is wherever you happen to be."Judging by the lack of tension in her graceful shoulders, and the long-lost luminescence he saw shining in her blue eyes, it appeared she had finally listened.Inner peace ~ perhaps it was with Kathryn at last.

"So, what's this I hear about Lieutenant Myers and Ensign Zito getting friendly in the mess hall last week?"Kathryn held her wine glass near her lips as she spoke, a smirk spreading across her face.

Chakotay grinned, enjoying her mischievous expression."Apparently, the two of them have become rather fond of each other."

She took a sip of her Antarian cider, arching one delicate eyebrow at her dinner partner over the rim of her glass."Oh come on, Chakotay.You know more than that.Don't make me order you to tell me."

"Order me?"Chakotay shook his dark head softly as he chuckled."I didn't realize that gossiping with the captain was included in the first officer's job description."

"You're closer to the crew than I am.You know I count on you to keep me informed of all the latest scuttlebutt."She attempted a lesser version of the death glare, but the mirth in her eyes betrayed her."Besides, your job description includes anything I want it to, Mister."

He couldn't resist."Really?"Flash of the dimples."Anything?"

Kathryn felt the blush creep across her cheeks as Chakotay's dark brown eyes playfully challenged her."You know what I meant." She chided.

"You know, Kathryn, it occurs to me … in the seven years we've served together, all the ships functions we've attended together, you've never danced with me."

Her surprise registered clearly on her flushed face."Danced with you?"

"Yes."He rose to his feet and stood next to her."This music is perfect for dancing.I finished the crew evaluations for you, prepared your favorite meal, and even shared my last bottle of Antarian cider with you."

"Your point?"

"My point is that the _least_ you could do is dance with me." He offered her his hand and a completely disarming smile."We'll talk about the _most_ you could do afterwards."

She laughed a deep, throaty laugh as she rose and took his hand."Don't push your luck, Commander."

"Can't blame a guy for trying." He teased as he took her in his arms."Blame it on the cider."

He felt her stiffen ever so slightly as he put his hand on the small of her back.He moved slowly, allowing her to gently ease into his embrace.He was rewarded for his patience as Kathryn relaxed and rested her head on his chest."Computer, increase music volume by 5%."

They stood there in Chakotay's quarters, wrapped in each other's arms and swaying to the soft music.The alien constellations of the Delta Quadrant twinkled outside the viewport, and the lightly perfumed scent of her hair filled Chakotay's nose and washed over his senses.He knew that this was one of those perfect moments that a person thinks about for the rest of his life.He loved her, he was certain of it.And if she would allow him these moments, these rare moments with just the two of them when he could hold her in his arms - he would not ask for more.Not until she was ready.But he had to admit, as he felt her slender body press up against his, he hoped it would be soon.

**~*~*~*~*~**

Harry Kim leaned back in the command chair, probably a more relaxed posture than was really appropriate on the bridge.The night shift was just beginning, and he was already tired.Not a good sign this early in the night.He sighed in resignation of the long hours ahead and punched the buttons on the display console to his right.He was half daydreaming about Megan Delaney in her Demonica costume when the crewman at tactical spoke.

"Sir," he stuttered nervously, "I'm detecting high levels of tachyeon emissions up ahead.I'm … I'm not sure what it's from."

Harry jumped to his feet."I'm going to need a better description than that, Crewman."How many times had Captain Janeway said those very words to him?

The nervous crewmen's fingers danced over his console.His eyes grew wide as the readings began to make sense in his mind."It's a transwarp conduit opening 50,000 kilometers off our starboard bow."The younger man locked eyes with Acting-Captain Kim."It's a Borg cube, sir."

"Red Alert!" Harry ordered before the words were even out of the crewman's mouth."Captain Janeway to the bridge."

In mere seconds, the cube appeared on the view screen.The image of the ominous ship grew rapidly as it approached Voyager.

"They're hailing us, sir."

"On screen."Harry turned to the viewer, prepared to hear the all too familiar voice of the Borg collective drone on about assimilation.The image that appeared before him was the last thing he was expecting to see.

She stood smirking at him.Her pale, greenish skin, her eyes black and shiny as onyx, and her oddly seductive cybernetically enhanced figure – they evoked the same mixture of terror and intrigue as they had the first time he saw her.

The Borg Queen. 

He hoped he'd never see her again, yet he couldn't take his eyes off her even as his stomach crashed to the deck.

"Hello, Harry." She drawled provocatively."You're looking well."

Harry Kim had never been so grateful to hear the hiss of the turbolift doors.Janeway entered the bridge, Chakotay at her heels, and stood next to Harry on the command deck.If she was surprised at the image on the viewer, she didn't let it show.Her eyes narrowed loathingly as she met the Borg Queen's unmoving gaze.

"Captain Janeway."The Borg nodded slightly in greeting.

Janeway merely quirked a brow in response."I'd like to say it's a pleasure, but…"

"I think we're beyond such superficial banter by now, aren't we Captain?"

"I agree." She said, easing herself into the command seat and crossing her legs causally as if this were any other routine communication."So what'd you say we cut to the chase and you tell me what it is you want, hmmm?"

"You are direct for a human, aren't you?"

"I thought the Borg preferred efficient conversation." Janeway retorted."Nothing short of directness is worthy of a Borg Queen such as yourself.Or shall I call you 'Your Majesty'?"

Chakotay was sure he saw anger, or was it hatred, flash in the Borg Queen's dark eyes.Janeway had beaten her repeatedly, something the Borg were unaccustomed to.But he thought it served her right for daring to tangle with Captain Kathryn Janeway in the first place.Anyone who did learned quickly that she was a force to be reckoned with, as he had learned the first day he met her.

"There's no need for hostility, Captain." she said."You can power down your weapons and cancel your battle alert.I'm not here to fight you."

"Really?" Janeway drawled."Then why exactly are you here?"

"I have a proposition for you and your crew." She said matter-of-factly.

Paris had to chuckle aloud at that one.He turned and glanced at Janeway over his shoulder."A proposition from the Borg?"

The captain ignored him.She rose to her feet and studied her nemesis through narrow, suspicious eyes."I'm listening."

The Borg Queen moved closer, her image on the view screen growing larger with each step."You and your friends from Unimatrix Zero have caused quite a disruption in the Collective."

A slight smile tugged at Janeway's lips."I can't say I'm sorry to hear that."

Her cybernetically enhanced face contorted with barely contained anger at Janeway's smugness."Gloat if you wish, Captain.It is a situation I intend to rectify."She schooled her features into an expression of calm detachment."Let's be painfully honest, shall we?"

"By all means."

"Your presence in this quadrant spawns further conflict within the hive, and encourages the renegade drones to continue this ridiculous fight.The Collective has been weakened by this insurrection.And your ship is not exactly in its prime condition after seven years of almost constant battle situations."

"What exactly is your point?" Janeway said as she folded her arms across her chest.

"My point is simply this; neither side can afford what would surely be a costly battle.However, I need you out of this quadrant, one way or another.I'm prepared to offer you a transwarp coil, much like the one you stole from the damaged sphere two years ago."Her face took on a deadly serious expression."You can fit the coil to your ship's systems and be home in less than 24 hours.Gone from the Delta Quadrant forever."

Janeway glanced at Chakotay, trying to ignore the pounding of her own pulse in her ears.One coil would get them home in a matter of hours, but she knew the Borg far too well to ever take anything they said at face value."And if I refuse?"

"You're a formidable opponent, Captain Janeway.I prefer not to engage you in battle again given the circumstances. … but I will if you leave me no choice."Her black eyes bore into Janeway's skull."Take the offered technology and get your people home.Or I will destroy you."

Janeway returned the glare."I think you know by now how I respond to threats."

"Don't posture with me, Janeway.Save your energy for your journey home.You're going to need it."Her dark eyes focused on Harry, who had moved to his station."Tell her, Harry."

The dark headed ensign stared blankly at the Borg woman."Huh?" he squeaked.

"Tell your beloved captain how much you want to get home.How very badly you miss your parents and the feeling of Earth's soil beneath your feet.She can give you all of that in mere hours if she'll simply listen to reason and stay out of things that don't concern her."

Harry returned her gaze, but remained silent as he clasped his hands behind his back.That was Harry's way, soft spoken even in defiance.

"Such loyalty toward your captain is impressive, Harry." Drawled the Queen."You would make an excellent drone."

If the situation hadn't been so serious, Chakotay would've laughed aloud as he watched the color drain from Harry's face.The Borg Queen loved to taunt him, and despite Harry's valiant attempts to look unaffected, it was obvious that he found her unnerving.

The Borg leader locked eyes with Janeway and her voice carried a deadly intonation as she spoke."You have one hour to make your decision, Captain.I suggest you make it wisely.The lives of your people depend on it."Then she cut the transmission, leaving only the daunting image of the Borg cube floating ominously before them.

**~*~*~*~*~**

Janeway stood and paced around the conference table, her slender hands trying desperately to massage away her growing headache.She'd been in this meeting with her senior staff for almost 40 minutes now, and she still hadn't reached a decision.

"It would only take my people a few hours to fit a transwarp coil to our engines, Captain." said Torres.

"That is irrelevant." Said Seven in her customary haughty tone."She is deceiving you, Captain.The Borg do not make propositions or negotiate.They assimilate."

Janeway shook her head."Not always, Seven.They've negotiated with us before.In fact, that's how you came to join us, during a temporary alliance."

"Perhaps your recollection of that alliance is flawed." She countered."The Borg never intended to adhere to your terms.They were simply using you to attain a goal.You would all have been assimilated had you not managed to outsmart the Collective in the last few moments of the battle."

"What makes you think we can't outsmart them again?" asked Tom."We've certainly had plenty of practice at it."

Janeway chuckled slightly.True enough.They'd tangled with the Borg more times in the last seven years than most humans do in a lifetime.

"Maybe they plan to coax us into a transwarp conduit, and then attack while we have no where to run." Said B'Elanna.

"It's possible." Said Tom, his hands folded on the table in front of him."Once we're inside a conduit, there isn't much room to maneuver.The Borg have fought us enough times to know that evasive sequences and strategically aimed phaser blasts are our biggest strength against a ship as massive as a cube."

Janeway shook her auburn head."It's more than that.If they wanted to destroy us, they could've simply have attacked with several cubes and overwhelmed us by sheer numbers.She's after something else."

"Maybe not, Captain." offered Neelix."We know from the liberated drones we've kept in contact with that the fighting has continued and the Collective has taken heavy losses.Perhaps they don't have enough ships to spare for a full scale attack."

"And they'd have to pull ships from other locations to do it.Ships that may be protecting crucial Borg areas." Said Chakotay.

"You underestimate the Collective." Said Seven.

"I don't think so, Seven." Janeway answered."They've lost countless drones and hundreds of ships since the insurrection began.They aren't the united force they used to be."

Chakotay was following Janeway's line of thinking."The Borg Queen did say that they'd been weakened by the liberation of so many drones.Perhaps her views have changed since she lost so many of her people.She might just want us out of her way as quickly and as easily as possible."

Harry Kim nodded emphatically."It might all be true.Maybe she doesn't want a battle with Voyager to further weaken her numbers when she could simply get us out of the way with a piece of technology."

Tuvok raised an eyebrow at the young officer."Your desire to reach Earth may be coloring your perception of the events, Ensign.It is illogical to think that the Borg have suddenly developed a desire to search for a peaceful solution to their problems."

"I agree." Said Seven."It is not their way.You're being naive if you believe the Borg have no ulterior motive."

"Oh, I'm sure there's some underlying motivation at work here, Seven," assured Janeway."The question is, can we out-manipulate them?"

Chakotay's dark eyes searched hers."Captain?"

Janeway stopped pacing and rested her hand on Chakotay's shoulder."I'm going to take Her Majesty up on her offer.That transwarp coil could have us home tomorrow if we play our cards right."

"Are you saying you have a plan, Captain?" asked the Doctor.His holographic mind was already contemplating the numerous casualties Janeway's wild plans were famous for generating.He would be a busy hologram, no doubt.

"We're going to plan for every conceivable contingency, just like we did when we went after Maj Cullah and the Kazon."

"As I recall," mumbled the Doctor, "it didn't go so well with the Kazon.They took over the ship and left you all to die on a volcanically active planet."

Janeway ignored him."I can't pass up another opportunity to get this crew home just because the road ahead my be a bit bumpy.We're going to accept the coil, and we're going home.All we have to do is outsmart the collective minds of hundreds of cultures, and keep Voyager in one peace."

Paris chuckled."Piece of cake."

**~*~*~*~**

Janeway pulled her jacket off before taking a seat across from Chakotay at the small table.He'd made dinner for her again, reasoning that since their last meal together was interrupted, it didn't really count.

"This looks delicious, Chakotay." She said as he spooned marinara sauce over her pasta."Smells wonderful too.If you keep feeding me like this, I'll get so fat I'll have to roll though the corridors instead of walk."

He chuckled softly."I doubt you'll ever have to worry about your weight, Kathryn.It takes more than one meal every couple of days and to get fat."

She smiled wryly at him as she picked up her freshly poured cup of java."I guess I'm lucky that coffee isn't fattening, hmmm?"

"If it was, you'd be the size of a large shuttle by now."

They ate and chatted amicably for a while, both trying not to focus too much on the long hours that lay ahead.But soon enough, the subject of Earth came up.

"So, what's the first thing you plan to do when we get home, Captain?"

She actually looked surprised at the question."I don't know.I guess I haven't really allowed myself to think about it."

"Oh, come on." He prodded."There must be something.One thing you've been longing to do all this time."

She cupped her coffee mug between her hands and bit her lower lip in thought."One thing, huh?I guess I would call Mark."

Now Chakotay looked surprised, and even a little hurt."Mark?I thought he got married."

She laughed and touched his arm gently."Yes, he did.But last I heard, he still had my dog.I want her back if she's still alive."

Chakotay's broad shoulders seemed to relax.He flashed Janeway a warm smile."Right, your dog.I'd forgotten."

"What about you?Who will you call, Chakotay?"

He shrugged."Probably my sister, Atraya."

Kathryn's eyes grew wide."Your sister?I didn't even know you had a sister!Why haven't you mentioned her before?"

"I don't talk about her much.We're not very close, never really have been.In fact, it's only since we got the ability to send messages to Earth that I've been in contact with her.Before that, I hadn't spoken to her in years."

"Well…" Kathryn said, raising a delicate eyebrow at him, "You're a man of mystery, Chakotay.I thought I knew everything about you.What other secrets are you hiding?"

He dropped her gaze, staring down at his plate of half eaten food."Oh … just one."

A throaty laugh escaped her lips."Let me guess." She teased."You're actually a Cardassian spy."She didn't wait for him to answer."No, no wait.You're hiding an Orion animal women in your closet."

He laughed aloud for a moment, and then his dark eyes grew serious."No, that's not it."

Suddenly Kathryn realized that Chakotay wasn't joking.He really did have a secret.She felt her stomach tense up and her heartbeat quicken.She placed her hand over his."What is it, Chakotay?What's your secret?"

He stared intently at her, searching her eyes for something.But for what?She said nothing as he stood and pulled her to her feet.

"I don't think I can tell you my secret, Kathryn.I don't know how to put it into words."He took her small shoulders in his hands and pulled her closer to him."But I can show you."

The world around them fell quiet as Chakotay cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers.He moved slowly, allowing her time to pull away if she chose.But she didn't.Her eyes closed and her arms snaked around his neck, pulling him closer to her as she returned the kiss.

Chakotay took his time, reveling in the sweet taste of her lips pressing against his.He'd dreamed of this moment for years, and he kissed her with abandon.

Kathryn knew she shouldn't allow this.But with any luck, they'd be home by this time tomorrow, and she could finally have a life – a life with Chakotay.The thought both thrilled and terrified her.When the kiss ended, she rested her head against his chest, unsure of where they'd go from here.

Chakotay pressed his cheek into her silky hair and wrapped her tightly in his arms.It felt so good to hold her next to him."The next few days are going to be hectic, and there will be many decisions to be made.I know you have to be focused on the task at hand right now.But I just wanted you to know that I'll be there for you when it's all done.I don't expect you to make any decisions about us right now.I don't even expect you to tell me how you feel.All I ask is that you keep an open mind.Don't rule out the possibilities of a life together on Earth, a life with me by your side."

He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his."I love you, Kathryn.Promise me you'll never doubt that."

Kathryn wanted to tell him that she loved him too, that she wanted nothing more than to be with him.But she couldn't, not yet.It would be too easy to get swept up in it and forget about the rest of the world.She had to keep her eye on the ball.So she brought her hand to his cheek tenderly and whispered, "I promise."

**~*~*~*~**

** **

** **

B'Elanna hadn't exaggerated when she'd said that her people could fit the transwarp coil to Voyager's engines easily.The installation had gone off without a hitch, and the technology had passed all preliminary tests within acceptable parameters.They were ready.

"Status of the Borg cube, Mr. Kim?"

Harry tapped at his controls."It's sitting in the same position it's been in all day, Captain.No change in energy readings or weapons status."

"Confirmed." Added Tuvok."They appear to be merely observing as the Borg Queen informed us they would."

"Any other Borg vessels on long range scans?" asked Chakotay.

"Negative."

"Well, then…" said Janeway as she took her seat in the command chair."Sounds like it's time to go home.Mr. Kim, put me through to the entire ship."

"Channel open, Ma'am."

"All hands, this is the Captain.We're about to bring the transwarp coil online.This ride may be a little bumpy, so find a seat with a view and hold on tight.With any luck, and a lot of skill, we'll be home in a matter of hours.Janeway out."

_"We're ready down here, Captain_." came B'Elanna's disconnected voice from engineering.

She nodded to her bridge crew, giving the signal to begin."Do it."

The technology functioned as it was designed to, under the close scrutiny of Seven of Nine.The entrance into the transwarp conduit wasn't nearly as turbulent as Janeway had anticipated, probably due entirely to the highly skilled pilot seated at the helm.

"Nice flying, Mr. Paris."

"All in a day's work, Captain." he grinned.

Janeway shot a glance at Chakotay, and he offered a supportive smile in return.She made a mental note to tell him how much his presence comforted her, how she loved his smile and the sound of his voice, and how she would be absolutely lost without him - when all this was over.But for now, she had to focus.

"Captain…"Tuvok's voice was tinged with faint apprehension."The Borg vessel has followed us into the conduit."

"I see it." Said Harry."They're behind us at 15,000 kilometers and closing fast."

"Aft view on screen." Ordered Chakotay.

Janeway rose to her feet.She schooled her expression into one of calm control.The crew needed to see her looking confident."Okay, people.Stay sharp.We'll make it through this."

Suddenly, the ship jerked back hard, sending Janeway and the others crashing to the deck.She heard Tuvok's calm baritone as she pulled herself to her feet."They've locked on with a tractor beam, Captain."

She glanced briefly at her bridge crew making sure they were all okay.A huge gash on her forehead oozed bright red blood that trickled down her face and into her eyes.She swiped absently at it with the sleeve of her uniform, smearing it across her delicate features.

"Tuvok, reverse the shield polarity.Try and disrupt that tractor beam."

"Aye, Captain."He tapped at his controls with a Vulcan calm that Janeway sometimes envied.A few seconds later, the ship lurched forward as it broke free from the grip of the Borg's tractor beam.

"Mr. Paris, can we increase speed?"

"Not if you want your ship in one piece when we exit this conduit." He replied, his voice strained as he executed what few evasive maneuvers he could in such a small space."The gravimetric sheer will tear us apart.I'm pushing structural integrity as it is."

Before Janeway could respond, the cube fired on the small ship.The green energy beam sliced right through Voyager's shields and seared into the hull.It was followed by several more shots in rapid succession.Kathryn was thrown mercilessly to the deck once again.She winced as her shoulder made impact with the unforgiving deck plates.She heard a sickening popping noise as her shoulder popped out of the socket.

Chakotay was beside her in an instant, his strong arms hoisting her to her feet.She bit her lip, muffling the painful groan that was working its way up her throat.She tried to ignore the intense, burning pain coursing through her arm."Report."

"Direct hit, Captain." said Tuvok."Our weapons have been disabled."

Janeway looked to Chakotay."If her goal was to destroy us, we'd be dead by now.She could've just as easily targeted the shield generators, or even the warp core."

He nodded his understanding."Agreed.But what does she want?" he asked."Why disable our weapons, but leave the ship intact?"

Suddenly, as if a fog had lifted from her mind, Janeway understood."She wants the ship in one piece, so she can claim it for her own." She whispered.

Chakotay's brow furrowed in confusion."Captain?"

Her blue eyes had a far away look as she stared at the image of the cube in pursuit."Think about it, Chakotay.We've defeated her time and again.And we aided the drones in Unimatrix Zero.Our actions resulted in a civil war.We disrupted her way of life and lived to tell about it.Humanity has successfully resisted assimilation for years, and this ship has continually eluded her."

"She wants revenge." He realized.

"Yes." She said."And she's had one goal on her agenda for a very long time.Now she intends to claim it, or die trying."

"She wants to assimilate Earth." Paris said.

"Exactly!"Janeway paced as she spoke."And what better way to do it than by assimilating Voyager and her crew, and then having her newest drones on the front lines."

"My God," Chakotay whispered."She plans to use us to assimilate our own people."

"I disagree." Said Seven from the science station."The Borg do not engage in revenge.It is an inefficient use of time.You are applying your own human emotions to a being incapable of such feelings."

Janeway shook her head."No.The insurrection changed the Borg Queen, Seven.I watched her destroy her own people, billions of drones, just to manipulate and hurt me.I assure you, efficiency and perfection were the farthest things from her mind at the time.She looked at me with such hatred.She even reached out to crush my throat in anger.Had it actually been my body and not just a projection, she'd have killed me with her bare hands."She looked at Seven pointedly."No, this isn't about Borg perfection.This is personal."

"Okay." Said Chakotay."Now we know her plan.What do we do about it?We have no weapons."

"Our phasers may be down, Chakotay.But we're far from defenseless."She turned her gaze to Tuvok."Commander Tuvok, if we fire a volley of photon torpedoes into the conduit just as we exit, what are the chances it would collapse the conduit and destroy the Borg vessel?"

His eyebrow rose at the thought.Captain Janeway was a most resourceful leader, unorthodox though she may be."If we time it perfectly, there is a probability of 89.9% that we will be successful.However, there will be no margin for error.If we fire prematurely, we will be destroyed as well.If we fire too late, the Borg vessel will escape the conduit before it collapses.But Captain, I must inform you; the torpedo bays were damaged when we were fired upon.The weapons would have to be loaded and fired manually from the bay itself."

Janeway sighed.Manually firing such powerful weapons was dangerous at best.The last time they'd faced such a situation, she'd done it herself and spent a week in sickbay with severe burns as a result.But they had no choice.They had to stop the Borg Queen before she assimilated them and then Earth.

Before she could wrestle with the decision of who would go, Chakotay tapped his combadge and spoke."Chakotay to Torres.I need an engineering team to meet me in the torpedo bay immediately."

"_Acknowledged."_

Janeway's heart leapt into her throat."No, Chakotay.I'm going." She said, her hands on her hips."I've done it before.I can do it again."

Chakotay smiled softly, his dark eyes conveying the deep love he held for her.His voice was soft but firm as he spoke."No, Captain.We're in the fight of our lives.Your place is on the bridge."He touched her hand lightly as he turned to go."Don't worry.I'll see you soon, Kathryn."

She nodded her understanding."Yes, you will.That's an order."

"Yes, Ma'am." He grinned.He glanced at the Vulcan officer as he made his way to the turbolift."How much time do we have, Mr. Tuvok?"

"You will have six minutes to load the weapons and prepare to fire."

"And I thought I was going to be rushed." He joked as the lift doors hissed closed.

The next six minutes were the longest of Janeway's life.Finally, she heard Chakotay's breathless voice through her communicator.

"_Chakotay to the bridge._We're ready when you are."

"Acknowledged." She replied."Stand by to fire on my mark.And … good luck, Commander."

"We'll be exiting the conduit in 5 … 4 …3 …" said Harry.

She waited for Tuvok's signal.He nodded to her, and she summoned every ounce of strength she had inside, glaring with hatred at the Borg vessel on the viewer."Fire!"

It only took a matter of seconds for Janeway's life to change forever.They saw the Borg cube begin to implode, the flames shooting out of the collapsing conduit.Nothing followed them from the Delta Quadrant, save a few pieces of Borg debris that escaped before the yawning maw slammed shut.

"The Borg vessel has been destroyed, Captain." stated Tuvok.

They had been successful.But Kathryn wasn't ready to celebrate just yet.She tapped her combadge, trying desperately to remain calm as her mind raced."Janeway to Chakotay."

Nothing.

"Commander Chakotay, please respond."

She felt the tears begin to form in her eyes as the silence stretched on.Then the stillness ended as she received the call she most feared.

"_Sickbay to Janeway."_

She took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice steady."Go ahead."

_"Please report to sickbay immediately, Captain.Commander Chakotay is seriously injured."_

Janeway rose shakily to her feet, ignoring the pain in her shoulder and the pounding in her head.She tried to walk calmly to the turbolift, but as she approached the stair to the upper deck, her world began to spin around her.She clutched the chrome railing to steady herself and closed her eyes as a wave of nausea threatened to over come her.

Tuvok watched her from his station.He wanted to take hold of her, offer his strength where hers had been depleted.But his place was on the bridge with both the captain and the commander away."Mr. Paris, please accompany the captain to sickbay."

Tom jumped to his feet."Aye, sir."He gently took Janeway by the arm and guided her to the turbolift.

Despite Janeway's sense of foreboding, she found she was entirely unprepared for the sight that greeted her in sickbay.Chakotay lay on the surgical bed, his uniform – or what was left of it – was charred and smoldering.The Doctor hovered over him, lifting his eyes as the captain entered.His face, holographic though it was, conveyed the severity of the situation.

He moved to intercept Janeway before she made it to Chakotay's side.He put a gentle hand on her arm, the wrinkles around his eyes suddenly seeming deeper and more pronounced than before as if he'd aged several years in the last few seconds.

"What is the commander's condition, Doctor?" she asked mechanically.

The Doctor glanced at Paris, and then back to Janeway."I'm afraid he sustained massive injuries, Captain.His trachea and lungs sustained severe burns.His right arm is broken as well as his femur and several ribs.He has extensive internal injuries, and he's developed DIC from the trauma."

Her brow furrowed in askance."DIC?"

"Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation.It happens sometimes when the body sustains massive hemorrhagic injuries.In attempts to prevent further bleeding, the body releases large amounts of clotting factors, exhausting the supply and causing the blood to clot while still inside the vessels.The vascular system begins to degrade, and the bleeding increases rather than decreases."

"What's his prognosis?"

A sadness the likes of which no simple hologram could ever possess washed across the Doctor's face."I've done everything I can, Captain.His injuries are simply too extensive and the bleeding too severe."

"You mean he's bleeding to death?" she asked.

"Essentially, yes."

"Can't you give him a transfusion?Blood products?"She knew she was grasping at straws.The Doctor would do anything in his power to save a member of their crew.If those actions would've worked, he'd have done it already.But she had to say something.Doing nothing made her feel as though they were giving up.

He shook his head."No, Captain.His vascular system has already begun to degrade.There are some things I just can't fix.All we can do for him at this point is make him comfortable and let nature take its course.I doubt he'll survive the next 30 minutes."His eyes probed deeply into hers, wanting to take the pain for her."I'm sorry, Captain."

Janeway felt Tom's hand on the small of her back, offering strength and support as her world crashed in around her.She moved with insentience toward the bed, her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears.She failed to suppress a horrified gasp as she took in the sight of her beloved first officer.

The tall man, once so strong and kind, was barely recognizable.His flesh was charred beyond repair, leaving behind seared tissue and black flesh where his tattoo used to be.His large hands, the ones that had always touched her with such reverence and tenderness, were burnt to the bone in places and curled in agony.His breathing was labored and wheezy as he forced air through a swollen throat and singed airways.

Janeway heard Toms' sharp intake of air from behind her as he too took in the horrifying sight.She didn't even realize she was sobbing until she heard him say, "I'm so sorry, Captain."

The Doctor watched as the captain laid a gentle hand on Chakotay's chest, her eyes expressing a pain and longing that made his holographic heart ache."I've given him a strong analgesic to relieve most of the pain.He shouldn't be suffering.I can wake him if you wish, if there's anything you'd like to say to him."

She looked from the Doctor to Paris, and then back to Chakotay.She nodded slowly."Yes … yes, please wake him, Doctor.There is something I need to say to him."The tears rolled down her ashen cheeks."Something I should've told him years ago."

Almost immediately after the hiss of the hypospray, Chakotay's dark eyes fluttered open.He winced at the brightness in the room, and then looked slowly at his surroundings.His eyes fell immediately on Janeway's pretty face."Kathryn…" he rasped.

"Shhh…" she soothed, her hand stroking what was left of his hair."Don't try to talk.You've sustained burns to your throat."

He tried to move his legs, tried to sit up, but he couldn't.He could feel the life force draining from his body.His large eyes locked with hers, understanding and peaceful acceptance shining through."I'm … I'm dying, aren't I?"

She glanced briefly at the Doctor, who nodded in the affirmative.Should she lie to him, offer false comfort?Or look him in the eyes and let him greet his passing honestly.She knew he deserved the truth."Yes, Chakotay." She said, her voice crackling with emotion."You are dying."

"And the Borg?"

"You did it.You destroyed them and saved us all.We've reached the Alpha Quadrant safely."

His charred lips turned upward in a soft smile."Home."

"Chakotay," she began."There's something I wanted to say to you, something I wish I would've said long ago."She leaned down and brought her face closer to his, her tears dripping onto his burnt flesh."I love you, Chakotay.I've loved you for a very long time."The sobs coursed through her, the pain in her shoulder forgotten."I've been so stubborn, so foolish.If I hadn't been so afraid, if I'd told you before … we could've had all those years together.I wasted our time, Chakotay, for protocols and regulations that didn't really exist anywhere but inside my head.I'm so sorry.My God, please forgive me."

Chakotay summoned every last ounce of strength he had to raise his burnt arm and wrap it around Kathryn's sobbing shoulders."Don't cry, Kathryn.Please don't cry.You gave me seven years of peace.Just being near you made me whole.I love you." He wheezed."I'll always love you."

His eyes began to roll into the back of his head as he struggled to stay conscious."Say it again." He whispered."I want to hear you say it one more time."

Kathryn brought her lips to his, hovering just centimeters above his mouth."I love you, Chakotay." She whispered.Then she kissed him with all the tenderness she had inside her.His lips moved with hers briefly, and then went soft as his last breath rattled in his throat.

The universe seemed to stop.There was no movement, no sound, except the gentle whisperings of the Sky Spirits weeping, and the aching resonance of Janeway's soul shattering into a million pieces.

Chakotay was gone.

"No!" Janeway cried.She rested her head on his chest and clutched at his uniform."You can't leave me, Chakotay."

The sight caused the tears that had been welling up in Tom's eyes to spill silently down his cheeks.He'd never seen his captain, his friend, weep openly in such obvious pain.He moved to her side and circled his hands around her waist, pulling her gently into an embrace.She resisted only briefly, and then fell into his arms and sobbed for all they had lost.For all she had lost. 

**~*~*~*~**

As the crew of the USS Voyager disembarked, their feet falling soundly on Earth's soil, there was a general feeling of bittersweet ambivalence in the air.They were home, but the cost had been monumentally high.So for Janeway, the cheering crowds seemed to scream inside her head.And the flashing of hundreds of holoimagers stung her aching heart. The words of praise and respect being tossed in their direction by the mass of onlookers sounded hollow and meaningless to her ears.

She was about to step into the small transport bound for Starfleet Headquarters and take her seat next to Tuvok, when a woman in the crowd caught her eye.She had long, raven black hair and hauntingly familiar chocolate colored eyes.Her gaze was fixed intently on Janeway, a silent request being issued._Please come talk to me._

Kathryn excused herself from the transport, promising to follow on the next one, and rushed away before Tuvok could object.She made her way to the woman, feeling drawn toward her by some unseen force, and half wondering if she'd finally gone insane.

"Are you Kathryn Janeway?" the woman asked.

"Yes." Janeway said softly."Do I know you?"

"My name is Atraya.Chakotay was my brother."

Janeway felt her heart rate quicken and her throat seemed to constrict._Was_ her brother?"Then you already know what happened to him?"

"Yes.Starfleet informed me."She dug into her backpack, searching for something.She finally produced a small PADD."I … I came here to give you this.It's a letter my brother sent me about two weeks ago.I think he would've wanted you to have it."

Janeway reached out with a trembling hand and took the PADD."I don't know what to say, Atraya.But thank you."

Atraya's dark eyes studied Janeway carefully, as if trying to commit her image to memory."Play it, Captain.Please."

Kathryn gazed at the beautiful woman, definitely a feminine version of Chakotay, and then, shaking noticeably, pressed the button to begin the recording.A small sob escaped her throat as an image of a very alive Chakotay stared back at her from the PADD.She lost herself in the masculine voice that she'd grown to love so much.

_Hello Atraya._

_ _

_I hope this letter finds you well.I know we haven't been the closest of friends in the past.But I would like to change that.So now that we have a way of communicating with Earth, I'll be keeping in touch on a regular basis.I hope you'll respond._

_ _

_I'm not sure what I wanted to say to you, except that I felt it important to tell you that I am finally happy with my life.For some reason, I think you need to know that now._

_ _

_I'm First Officer aboard this ship, and I wear this uniform with pride.Ironic isn't it?Me, in a Starfleet uniform again and happy about it.But it's not really because of Starfleet that I'm proud of it.It's my captain.She's the most incredible woman I've ever known.She's strong, brilliant, and incredibly beautiful.And she has me wrapped around her little finger._

_ _

_I've finally found the one thing that has always eluded me in my life.Peace.Every morning I wake up knowing that I have a purpose, and that I'll be serving next to her. Seeing her radiant blue eyes and crooked smile each day - I can't think of anything I want more in the entire universe.Just being near her fills my heart with great joy.I had no idea when I first stepped on this ship that I would find solace here.Or that I would fall in love with her.But I have … deeply._

_ _

_Hopefully we'll reach Earth soon, and then you can meet her.I know you'll love her almost as much as I do.Our father would've adored her._

_ _

_Kathryn … even her name is beautiful._

_ _

Janeway to Chakotay.I need you on the bridge, Commander.__

_ _

_Ah, and there she is now.I've got to go, Atraya.Kathryn needs me.I hope to hear from you soon.I love you._

_ _

Kathryn stared at the frozen image of Chakotay's handsome face on the PADD, the tears once again streaming down her face."Thank you, Atraya.This means the world to me."

"He must've loved you very much, Captain." she said, placing a slender hand on Janeway's arm."I have never seen my contrary brother so at peace, so complete.It is a comfort to me to know that the last years of his life were happy ones, and that he died while protecting his new family and the woman he loved.His death had purpose, Captain, and he would've liked that."

"I can't believe he's gone." She whispered.

Atraya looked at her with eyes that seemed to hold the wisdom of a hundred life times, the same look Chakotay had."He's not gone.He is the wind, and the trees.Even your beloved stars.He's all around us.He's at rest, and when your pain begins to recede, you'll feel him.He's with the Sky Spirits now, Captain.And he'll watch over you until you join him."

Janeway wanted nothing more than to get to know this woman, to hear her speak of a version of Chakotay that she never knew."I have to wrap some things up at headquarters, but it shouldn't take long.Would you care to join me?We can have a meal together and you can meet Chakotay's friends.I know they would love to meet you."

Atraya flashed Janeway a dimpled smile."I'd love to, Captain."

"Call me Kathryn." Janeway said, taking Atraya by the arm and leading her toward the transport.

"All right." She nodded, brushing her dark hair off her forehead."Can I ask one favor, Kathryn?"

"Of course."

The tears welled up in Atraya's dark eyes."Tell me about my big brother.I want to know everything."

Janeway took a deep breath, knowing instantly that this was the beginning of a friendship she would cherish for the rest of her life."Well, actually … when I first met Chakotay, he was a criminal and I was on a mission to capture him.I had no idea how much he would come to mean to me, to all of us.Or that he would change my life forever.It all started in the Badlands where we met up with an entity called the Caretaker…"


End file.
